UPDATING WITH GRATITUDE

So here is a little update on "Three Things to be Thankful For".  Enjoy these little snippets of our life.

 

Tuesday 21 August 2012

1.  I found out today that my shoulder MRI was absolutely clear which obviously doesn't narrow down the cause of the arm pain, but I was a little bit frightened that it would turn up something nasty so it is a huge relief.  It also means the doctor can refer me for physio now which will hopefully get me back that final bit of movement I am missing and improve the bedtime ache.

2.  When I was pregnant with Teeny I occasionally used to get A&D to curl up on the sofa with me for an hour and sometimes we would nod off.  We obviously don't have the opportunity much for that now, but today A asked me if we could lie down on the sofa for a cuddle.  It made me so happy that even though I couldn't run around with them when I was heavily pregnant she still enjoyed that special time we spent together enough to ask to do it today.

3.  I had a visit from my lovely friend Jade this evening and it was just really lovely to have a good old natter with her.  I am so blessed that she is my friend and am especially looking forward to the Sunday lunch she is cooking for us this weekend!!

Wednesday 22 August 2012

1.  I am struggling with A&D's behaviour a little at the moment as they have become quite challenging again over the last week.  I am pretty sure it is because they are missing preschool, but that doesn't make it any easier.  Anyway today they have had their moments, but were much better behaved than they have been and you have no idea how grateful I am for that.  It makes me feel so awful when they are not the polite, lovely children I know they can be.

2.  I am so thankful for the lovely friends that A&D made at pre-school.  We had a play date with one of them today and my two had a lovely few hours at their house.  Whenever we go there we are always made to feel so welcome and it is lovely for me too to have some lovely adult company in the form of their friend's mommy, Kate.  Even though the children are going to different nurseries I really hope we manage stay in touch and that our children stay friends as they grow older.  I really can picture the girls together in ten years time as teenagers.  What a frightening prospect.

3.  I don't seem to have seen my lovely nephew for a little while, but today, after a hard day at work, my sweetheart of a sister in law helped me dye my hair (I couldn't do it myself because of not having a full range of movement in my arm) and on arrival at her house, without any prompting from me, I was greeted with a great big hug from my nephew.  I felt very blessed, although D will be gutted that he missed out.

Thursday 23 August 2012

1.  Teeny has started having the occasional sneaky night time/early morning feed again.  I think it is because he has started going to bed a little earlier so is doing a longer stretch now.  The funny thing is though he will go back to sleep once I put him in his cot, but while I am holding him he tries his hardest to play with me and gives me such cheeky and beautiful smiles that I almost don't want to put him back to bed!

2.  Teeny had to have his 16 week injections today and A&D came with us too.  Last time he had them the nurse was very softly spoken and gentle and they didn't upset him too much so A&D were ok with him having them.  This time we saw a different nurse; she was a bit more abrupt and Teeny really cried at his first jab which made A so cross that she started shaking my chair and saying "No Mommy" as the nurse tried to give him his next one.  It broke my heart that he was so upset and that she was so upset for him.  Needless to say Teeny was smothered with kisses and cuddles by A&D once the ordeal was over.

3.  I have the best of both worlds when I am not on maternity leave in that I work evenings and so get to spend lots of time with my children during the day (although I do miss my lovely husband).  However I do really miss reading bedtime stories and having bedtime cuddles with A&D so being on maternity leave is extra special in that I am able to spend lots of time bonding with Teeny, but I also get to do the bedtime things that I really miss when I am at work.  I also love going in to give them a sneaky kiss and cuddle once they have nodded off.

Friday 24 August 2012

1.  I have talked before about the lovely friends that A&D made at pre-school.  Today we had another play date with one of them.  I struggle on Friday's because my other half goes to work early so I was so thankful that we had been invited out.  The weather stayed dry and they have a beautiful garden so of course the children spent 90% of  their time in the garden and had a ball especially as there is a secret garden too which can't be seen from the house.  How exciting for three (almost) four year olds!!  I had a good old natter with Olivia's mommy which always makes me feel better and the morning ran away from us.  Before we knew it it was time for us to go home, much to the children's disgust!

2.  My husband finishes work early on Friday's and it is always lovely to go home and already have him there waiting to give me a great big cuddle. 

 

3.  Following on from the above.  Despite Friday mornings being difficult for me I am so grateful for the extra time we get to spend together as a family on these afternoons as a result of the early mornings.  Where possible, provided that life doesn't take over, we try to do something fun and make this time extra special especially as the children get older because I am noticing that A&D are starting to miss Daddy more and more when he is at work.

Saturday 25 August 2012

1.  I am thankful for my husband everyday, but today is our 6th wedding anniversary so I am even more thankful for him today.  He is a wonderful husband and father to our children.  Of course we have our moments like every couple, but I love him more every single day.  I know this doesn't sound very romantic, but we are like a well oiled machine.  We are a team and we work well together.  The children and I are his world and he and the children are mine.  I daren't even think what I would do without him.

2.  This might be slightly materialistic, but I am so thankful for the lovely anniversary flowers I found when I got up this morning.  I know my husband loves me, but he is not the most romantic of men so surprise flowers are extra special.  I would be happy with a little bunch from the supermarket, but these were actually a beautiful bouquet from the florist loaded with lilies and roses which are two of my favourite flowers.  How lucky am I?

3.  We did lots of nice things as a family today; out for breakfast in the morning and then to a birthday party in the afternoon.  It is not really about what we did though  I am just thankful for being able to spend that time with my family; you know just hanging out with them and not thinking about housework or DIY or what to cook for tea.

 

Sunday 26 August 2012

1.  I was so grateful today to be able to spend some lovely intimate time with Allan and Teeny having some beautiful photographs taken by Allan's sister.  She also photographed my bump for me as well as Teeny's home birth and we are going to slide show them all together for Teeny's Naming Ceremony.  Allan and I are conscious of wanting to involve A&D as much as we can with Teeny and we love to do that because they idolise him and he they, but it was just so very special to have this short special time together as a couple with him today to record and treasure his babyhood (if that is even a real word).  Probably more so because we feel like we missed out on that a little with A&D because of the mayhem that is having multiples especially as your first and if this were not a post about being thankful and happy I would say that this makes me a little sad.

 

2.  A wonderful friend; one of the most talented, committed and generous individuals I know and to top it off a great cook.  Jade's Sunday roast.  Nom nom nom.  Need I say more?  A&D can take or leave Sunday Lunch (which surprises me given my love for them), but the fact that they virtually cleared their plates is testament to how delicious it was.  I was so happy not to have to cook  today and to still get to eat a delicious home cooked meal with the most wonderful people!

 

3.  Finally I have to talk about how well behaved my children were at their Auntie Jade's house today.  I have mentioned earlier on that they have become quite challenging over the summer break and I have been at the end of my tether at times, but I was extremely proud of them today.  They were so well mannered and polite and respectful that you would have thought that butter couldn't melt and it made for a very pleasant afternoon.  So thank you so much guys for making me smile so much that it was impossible to hide.  Love you.

 

Monday 27 August 2012

1.  I caught up with some of my oldest work friends this morning.  I am the only one out of that circle with children and I sometimes find it hard to fit into their plans and worry that they just think I am being awkward, but I make the effort to join them when I can and they too make the effort to accommodate my children where it is possible and/or appropriate.  We had a good old catch up today and I am always thankful to be able to spend quality time with these people as they have been part of my life for a very long time and will be for a very long time to come I hope.

 

2.  Another play date and another lovely afternoon.  Today's play date was with a little girl who started pre-school on the same day as A&D and her mommy, Jo was the first person I spoke to at pre-school.  The weather held out and so the children got to play both inside and out and I am so happy that they got to have lots of fun with yet another lovely friend.  What made this play date extra special was that, as it was a Bank Holiday, Daddy got to join in the fun too and I think it was good for his soul to get involved with the children's social lives and it made me happy to have him there.

 

3.  We finished this lovely day by having a Chinese takeaway with my sister in law, but what made me happiest while we were there was the beaming smiles on A&D's faces and the excitement in their voices when their big cousin arrived home.  I have written before about how much they love Will and this love just seems to grow and grow; it is so beautiful to watch.

 

Tuesday 28 August

1. A was ever so upset today when D didn't want to play outside with her. It made me so thankful that I have twins because, as difficult as it can be for me sometimes, they are so lucky to have each other.  It must be much less scary doing new things if you always have a partner in crime;

2. There are lots of mommies who I know online, but never get to meet in person. However today I was blessed to meet one of those mommies along with her her brand new baby girl.  I really should try harder to meet my online friends.

3. Today is one year since I posted my first post on my blog. Yay I have been blogging (somewhat sporadically) for a whole year.

Wednesday 29 August

1. Wednesday is Booby Club. I feel so privileged to be able to help and support other women through their breastfeeding journey.  I hope I make as much of a difference to them as they do to me.

2. I had a lovely evening out with my sister in law and my friend; we went to see the wonderfully talented Kimbra, but that's a whole other post!

3. A&D were quite put out that they weren't coming to see Kimbra with me tonight, but I did manage to acquire a poster advertising the gig for them to put in their room.  You should have seen their faces!

 

Oh dear!  Writing this has just made me realise that I really haven't been taking enough photographs lately so I really must take steps to rectify that situation and get my mojo back as it seems to have wandered away from me slightly.

I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN

Hi guys, I haven't forgotten about "Three Things to be Thankful For".  I have notes from each day of my three and will publish soon, but have been falling asleep of an evening before I can even manage to turn the laptop on.  Must be left over fatigue from the glandular fever and poorly arm which I am happy to report feels a million times better!  Yay!

 

Be back soon.  Probably not tonight though as, much to my daughter's disgust because she is not allowed to join me, I am going to see Kimbra.  (Thanks to Georgia of Documenting Delight for the introduction!)

 

Lots of love.

 

xx

FRIENDS OLD AND NEW

Today when the rain that wasn't forecast finally stopped we headed for a postponed play date in the park.  There are five months between my twins and my friend Marie's oldest daughter so they have been friends virtually since the day she was born.  The girls are both very girly; they share a love of all things pretty and were clearly pleased to see each other today.  However what I also noticed today was how protective D was of his friend; when she fell over he came to tell us; when he went off to play he took her with him and when she wasn't near him playing he wanted to know where she was.  He is like this with A (when they are not bickering), but I am used to that as she is his sister after all and,  aside from a few days just after their first birthday when A was in hospital with pneumonia, he has never spent a night away from her.  Nevertheless to see him like it with his little friend was so heartwarming.  He is such a sweet and sensitive soul and so very caring and I am so thankful for his kindhearted nature.

Speaking of friendships, not only did I watch old friendships develop today, but I also watched new ones forming.  What is it about children that allows them to form friendships so quickly and easily?  They have no preconceived notion or judgements about what the other child is like and I wish so much that I could wrap up that innocence so that they could take it on life's journey with them.  When we first got to the park I saw a little girl, slightly older than A I would imagine, keeping a close eye on her and they always seemed to be in close proximity to each other.  Well, within twenty minutes of our arrival they were running around together holding hands and having full blown conversations.  Oh how I wish I could hear what they were talking about at such a tender age.  I am so in awe of my daughter's ability to form new friendships with such ease.   I love that, whilst at this age children do notice differences between themselves and their peers, it seems to have little or no impact on their opinion of that person or their desire to get to know them.  Sometimes we can learn such big lessons from ones so little and I am so grateful for the lesson my daughter taught me today.

Finally, I must just add that was very thankful today to meet baby Noah and catch up with his mommy too.  Noah is Marie's new nephew and, at five weeks old, is just delicious.  I felt so privileged to get to meet him so soon.  Mr & Mrs L, you make such beautiful babies.  Enjoy every scrumptious minute of him!

HAPPINESS IN PICTURES

D, Teeny, A
Nom Nom Nom

Finally...a picture of our family of five

Fresh Air + Exercise = Happy Children + Happy Mommy

GRANDAD AND TEENY'S FIRST CUDDLES

My father in law loves my children a lot and I have absolutely no doubts about that, but he just does not "do" babies.  They are too small and floppy so in their early days he will talk to them and ask about them and comment on their changes, but it is common knowledge in the family that he won't  hold them so don't even bother asking.  I was a little concerned about this when A&D were little, but I needn't have been as it has had no adverse affect on his relationship with them and they adore him!

Anyway, today I decided to test the water with Teeny; to my surprise and without any degree of persuasion on my part my father in law took him from me.  I cannot tell you how gutted I was that I didn't have the camera with me though as Teeny stayed in those arms for a good while and was staring at his grandad so intently that it made my heart melt.  What made it all the more special was that my husband had popped into his parents' on his lunch to see us all so he got to see it for himself too!

So without a doubt special cuddles are one of the things that I was most thankful for today. 

Whilst at Nanny and Grandad's today I was amazed at my children's imagination.  The conversation went something like this:-

A: Mommy, Nanny; a buzzy bee.

D: A buzzy bee, a buzzy bee.

Mommy and Nanny head outside to see the buzzy bee.

NANNY:  Do you know what he is doing?  He is  taking all of the pollen out of the flower to take back to the hive to make honey.

ME:  As long as you leave him alone he will leave you alone baby.

Mommy and Nanny head back inside the house.

D:  There is bee hive Mommy!

ME:  Is there?  (knowing all too well that there isn't)

D:  Yes Mommy look.

So off I headed back outside where D was pointing to some pretty tree bark that my in laws have flowers planted in which sounds random, but looks lovely.  Anyway, although it doesn't obviously look like a bee hive you could see from the texture and the colour and size where he had got the idea from.

It always makes me happy to see and hear where my children's imaginations take them.

Talking of playing in the garden; it is something that my kids just cannot get enough of so this evening A, D and I were having races in the garden whilst Daddy and Teeny did the medal ceremonies using the medals A&D got from pre-school.  I even sang God Save the Queen for them.  Ha ha! 

We all laughed so hard it hurt (and D cried a bit because he didn't win every race). 

Oh what fun and a great thing to have as one of my three things that I am thankful for today! xxx

IT'S A TOUGH ONE

Well we have had one of those "I don't want to listen to or take on board anything Mommy is going to say today" days.  I feel like a broken record and simply exhausted, although it was probably not helped by the fact that I was up in the night with the dreaded arm because I had tried to not take any painkillers before bed.  I won't be making that mistake again tonight.

Given the above this post will be a short one because the negatives have masked the positives today so I have had to dig deep to really find those positives, but amongst a day of mayhem there have been a few lovely moments that have made me smile.

1.  When I got out of the shower this morning I could hear A&D pottering about in their room so I tried unsuccessfully to creep in and snap a (very poor) photograph of whatever they were up to and this is what I found.

They looked too cute for words sat on A's bed together reading Things I Love About Playtime.  It was one of those moments that I will hold in my heart for years to come.

(As an aside we really love the "Things I Love About..." books.  They are really hard to get hold of here for some reason, but we have got a total six different ones on two separate occasions for £2 each in Aldi of all places.  What an absolute steal!  If you see them I really recommend you buy them.)

2.  After poking my head around A&D's door I went into my own room to find this beautiful sight.  I know he is mine so clearly I am biased, but how can this face not make you smile and feel thankful?

3.  Once the children were all in bed and I was laid on my bed feeling sad about the day my wonderful husband brought me up a coffee, lay next to me and just cuddled me for half an hour.  He knew exactly what I needed without me having to say a word.

APPARENTLY MY CHILDREN HAVE A NEW SISTER......

Ha ha!  No I am not pregnant. 

Today we went to Christy's for a play date. I have blogged about her lovely little family before here and here  There are just a couple of weeks in age between A&D and Christy's daughter and they all play so lovely together; it is an absolute delight to watch them. 

The girls were just the cutest today though and were running around the garden playing sisters and pretending that they were going to be late for their exercise class (Christy goes to an exercise class on Tuesdays evenings so I am assuming that game stemmed from).  They act so grown up and I have to pinch myself sometimes to remind myself that A is only three (going on thirteen!).

A is very unlikely to ever have a sister so it means even more to me now than it did before I had Teeny that she has a few really lovely girlfriends and some older female cousins to indulge in her girliness (is that even a real word?) with because, as much as I try, girliness is not a trait she gets from me!

So today's happiness/thankful list really stems from our play date today.

1.  Seeing A&D playing so nicely with their friends made me so happy.

2.  I am so thankful for the fact that my children have been able to form such good relationships with their peers and so subsequently are blessed to have some really lovely friends.

3.  Christy told me today that her daughter had asked if  I was coming to their house with A&D today and when she told her I was she said something along the lines of "yay I love Rachel".  Well I love you too sweetie!.

Thanks for your hospitality guys.  Looking forward to seeing you again really soon.  xxx

A QUICK LIST OF GRATITUDE

I can barely keep my eyes open so just a quick list of thankfulness today.

1.  More sleep and less drugs.  Ok so I am slightly duplicating the sleep thing, but last night was even better than last time I posted about my sleep status.  I took two painkillers for my arm before bed last night and woke briefly during the night, but didn't require painkillers just repositioned myself, fed Teeny very briefly and then went back to sleep until this morning.  I feel much more positive now that i am not pumped full of drugs and am getting more sleep and I am very thankful for that.

2.  A clear chest x-ray.  Well I am assuming it was clear because the doctors surgery ring if results show anything and I haven't had a phone call despite the x-rays being back so as they say "no news is good news" in this case

3.  Half an hour to sit down with my lovely husband this evening for coffee, biscuits and a chat. I love him so much, but time together on our own is so precious and I really felt blessed that we managed that little bit of time for ourselves today without feeling guilty.

Right I am off now.  Night night.

THANKFUL FOR MY BABIES

Today has been the kind of day where I could have just skipped a project like this, but I am so conscious of not wanting to do that so I took some time once the children were in bed to try to think about all of the things (I don't mean material things here) that I have been blessed with and of course there were three very obvious ones:-

1. A*

2. D*

3. Teeny*

There was a time when we were going through our fertility treatment in 2007/2008 that I couldn't imagine being lucky enough to have one child and now I have three under the age of 4, yes that's right THREE.  Some days More often  than not it is such a challenge and I worry so much that I might not be doing a good enough job.  Mostly though, even on the tough days, I am in awe of the little people we have created and the inspiring individuals that they are becoming; sometimes I am so proud of them I feel like I might burst at any moment. 

So today I am truly thankful for my children, the journey they are taking me on and the gift of motherhood.

A,D and Teeny I love you to the moon and back xxx

* I would like to just clarify for my kids when they are old enough to read this and start arguing about who is my favourite that I love you all the same and the above list is in order of age and not preference. Ha ha!

THREE S'S (SLEEP, SUNSHINE & SISTER)

Just a quickie today as we have had a wonderfully busy day at Victoria Park in Stafford followed by a barbecue at home.  I am happy tired and looking forward to cuddling up to my hubby on the sofa for more Olympic fever.

So what am I thankful for today?

1.  I had the best night's sleep I have had in weeks last night.  I did have to take two lots of painkillers during it, but I managed to get back to sleep super quick and wasn't awake for hours like I have been of late.  This might seem like a daft thing to be thankful for, but it made for such a nice day today because I wasn't exhausted.

2.  The sunshine today meant that I could spend a lovely day out with my beautiful family which, after not being able to do much with the children over the last few weeks, was really good for my soul.

3.  A's love for her brothers makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside.  She is without a doubt the boss and she and D do bicker, but in spite of that she absolutely adores both of her brothers and is very protective of them.  It was so heart warming to watch her guiding D into the water today and reassuring him; she really boosted his confidence.



THREE THINGS TO BE THANKFUL FOR

I have been feeling a bit very sorry for myself lately.  Not without cause as I have had glandular fever followed by some terrible pain (read worse than childbirth) in my right arm (I am right handed) which nobody can figure out the root of.  (I should really add here that, aside from an awful out of hours doctor who couldn't care less, the doctors have been fab and arranged for me to have a chest x-ray and shoulder MRI super quick).  We tried Amitriptyline for nerve pain, but that didn't touch it and so I am having to take Co-codamol just to take the edge off which doesn't seem to have bothered Teeny at all, but as I am breastfeeding and not one to take much medicine it makes me nervous.    It also makes me feel terribly drowsy which is not good with three children and the drowsiness combined with the pain makes driving near on impossible; ironically though the drowsiness doesn't mask the pain to the extent that I can actually sleep at night!  Subsequently I haven't been able to do all of the things I had planned to do with the children or in the house/garden over the summer break hence the big pile of self pity.

So anyway inspired by this post by Georgia of Gregarious Peach (go check out her blog if you haven't already: she is such an inspiration!) I have decided that for the next month I am going to try to list three things from each day that I am thankful for or that make me happy.  Seeing Georgia's post reminded me that when I was going through a bout of depression a few years ago and using some NLP techniques and hypnotherapy I briefly tried a "happiness journal" and it worked well, but like a lot of things I didn't persevere with it.  I hope that having a blog already set up might make it easier to do because, at least if I don't have much time but have thought about it throughout the day, I can just log in and quickly jot down the list or attach a photograph.  I occasionally toy with trying to post a photograph per day;  the problem is that I am very self critical and a bit of a depressive (although that seems to have been pretty much under control over the last 4-5 years), but if I missed a day or the photographs weren't up to scratch it would be something else to add to my list of "fails" so I think I need to feel stronger before I try that and  stick to the "Three Things to be Thankful For" post for now and see how I feel at the end of the month.

So here is today's list. 

1.  My wonderful husband who, despite having to go to work each day, has spent countless nights awake over the last few weeks reassuring me, rubbing my arm and just generally being lovely to me while I have been feeling so rubbish.

2.  Christy P is a lovely, selfless "mommy friend" of mine who, despite having her own two, took A&D for me on Tuesday so that I could catch up on some sleep.  I really struggle to loose the reins when it comes to my children, but I was desperate for two things; one being sleep and the other being for A&D to have a really fun day without a grumpy mommy.  My children love to play with Christy's children and I trust her completely so I handed those reins over and of course they had an absolute ball.  I feel so incredibly touched by her kindness.

3.  A&D laughing together.  They came out into the garden with me today whilst I was putting out the washing and to be honest I can't even remember what lets pretend game their imaginations had inspired them to play because I was so busy revelling in the fact that they were laughing so hard together.

So those are my three for today and you know what?  I feel better already.

THE BEAUTY OF BOOBIES

So I LOVE LOVE LOVE breastfeeding and today, being the last day of World Breastfeeding Week 2012, I want to squeeze in a post about it.  I had wanted to do a whole series, but have been poorly with one thing and another and have not been feeling up to it.  I just couldn't let this week pass though without at least one post.

If you are a follower of my blog you will know from this post that I am a Peer Supporter for my local PCT and also that before I had A&D I wasn't remotely bothered about breastfeeding.  To be honest the thought of it grossed me out a bit.  Oh how times change though!

I ended up feeding A&D for 15 months.  I am not sure if you would call it self weaning, but basically they just weren't interested anymore.  I had been offering breast to them in the morning before breakfast and they had been taking it, but they hadn't initiated feeds themselves for a good while and one morning it was like they tag teamed me.  They ate some of their cereal before I offered them their feed and then neither of them were remotely interested in their breastfeed which broke my heart.  Obviously I rang my husband and cried about it and it was then that I decided that I wasn't going to offer because I couldn't deal with the upset of constant rejection, but I wasn't going to refuse either.  Well it breaks my heart to say that I wasn't given the opportunity to refuse them because neither of them ever sought booby again!  What upsets me more is that apart from a couple of photographs that my mother in law took when A&D were 4 days old I don't have any other photographs of me feeding them.  At the time I was mortified that she had those photos, but now I am so so thankful for it.

One of the things that I looked forward to most when I was pregnant with Teeny was to breastfeed him.  I missed it so much when A&D stopped and my body ached when I saw other mommies feeding their brand new teeny weeny babies.  I had also learned a lot in the intervening period through my peer support training about how to position and attach a baby and about the reasons behind why babies do some of the things they do when they are feeding.  I also felt more relaxed than I did with A&D, not just because I had done it before because after all Teeny was going to be a different baby with his own issues, but  because I knew where to go and who to ask if I did have any struggles.

A bit of me feels guilty for writing this, but when it comes to feeding (and most other things) Teeny has, on the whole, been a bit of a dream baby.  I am not bragging it is just a simple fact.  I did after all have my fair share of very long endless sleepless nights first time round so if you are struggling with a newborn you have my sympathy and I really do feel your pain.  I know everybody will have their own opinion on home births, but I am convinced that aside from being my second pregnancy/third baby, which obviously makes it easier, his calmness really has something to do with him being born at home into a calm and peaceful environment and into the place that he was to stay as opposed to being moved from a the bright lights of a delivery suite to the hustle and bustle of a post natal ward and then to the home where he was to stay.

Anyway I went off on a bit of a tangent then so back to the feeding.  We did have a feeding frenzy on Teeny's second night and I literally didn't sleep all night, but I felt much calmer about it.  The first time around I panicked that something was wrong and that I didn't have enough milk, but this time I knew that he was just stimulating my body to produce what he needed and a bad night for me was a really good night for him.  Instead of stressing with my husband I remember quite calmly saying to him that I was going downstairs so that he could sleep because at some point Teeny would go to sleep, probably with the dawn chorus, but at least then if he had slept he could get up with A&D and take them to pre-school and I could go to sleep with Teeny so that's what we did and it was fine.  This feeding frenzy did, however, bring to light the fact that I obviously hadn't had him positioned exactly right because I found that by morning I was very sore.  As I said before though I felt empowered by the fact that I knew where to go for help so I asked the infant feeding midwife who I work with to have a look at his positioning because I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong and it turned out that he just needed his bottom tucking in slightly so that his nose wasn't buried in my breast as much and that was pretty much it.  What a very different story to my struggles and trials and tribulations first time around!  Yes he has had his growth spurts and likes to cluster feed during the early evening and on occasions during the day, but to be honest because I know that it is all normal it doesn't really bother me and I just roll with it and because it is my second experience of breastfeeding I am pretty much happy to feed anywhere and everywhere (including walking through The Fort Shopping Park) so those growth spurts and cluster feeds do not really restrict me.

It hasn't been an easy ride, especially with A&D, but I feel so blessed to have been able to breastfeed my three children.  Words cannot describe what a beautiful experience it is for me and how much I will cherish those special moments with my children for years to come.  I am utterly dreading the day that Teeny weans as that will be the day that my own breastfeeding experience ends.  In fact I am welling up just thinking about it.  I do thankfully have some lovely photographs of his first feeds and I intend to take lots more as we go through our breastfeeding journey together.  I just really hope that journey is a long one...